


Alone Does Not Mean Unbreakable

by TheCryingSun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Bullying, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Jock Dean, M/M, Nerd Castiel, Yeah you're welcome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 00:28:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3629865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCryingSun/pseuds/TheCryingSun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak was never one to ask others for help.<br/>At least, he never really needed to. But even if he ever did, he would never go as low as to ask someone for it.  He was smart, and to a large extent, and was capable of taking care of himself. <br/>Castiel thought it would be like this until senior year - hiding from yearbook cameras, not giving a damn what anyone else was doing, but that was before he met Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What A Way To Break The Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Oop, here I am! This is the first fic I've ever posted. Yes, I have many more hidden in the secret fanfiction folder, but I thought I'd start of with something quick.

Castiel Novak was never one to ask others for help.

At least, he never really needed to. But even if he ever did, he would never go as low as to ask someone for it. He was smart, and to a large extent, and was capable of taking care of himself. 

He was always very sheltered, never interested in what others thought of him, and no one else ever acknowledged him in the first place so it wouldn't matter anyway. He was a ghost hiding in plain sight. He would often glance around the teen –infested hallways and wonder what it would feel like to be someone that everyone knew. He didn't imagine it to be something he’d enjoy.

Cas’ world was lonely, yes, and we would sometimes feel bad about it, but he would remember that it is his own doing. He wouldn't know the first thing about being in any kind of relationship, whether it be romantic or not. His older brothers were never around besides Gabriel, and even he only showed up once or twice a month, so he didn't have any sibling bonds either.

Castiel thought it would be like this until senior year - hiding from yearbook cameras, not giving a damn what anyone else was doing, but that was before he met Dean Winchester. 

-

“Hey Novak!” came a voice from the other side of the hallway. 

This caught Cas’ attention, but he didn't look away from his locker. He dismissed the thought that anyone would ever to talk to him. He continued grabbing his needed textbooks from the unorganized pile in the bottom of his locker, filing through various homework sheets that he didn't see the point of completing. 

He stood up, closed his locker and fixed the dress-shirt underneath his sweater, not doubting that he didn't really hear his name, but as he turned around, a face of freckles and a big sly grin greeted him. 

“AH!” Cas yelped, the sudden intrusion of space startling him. He backed up frantically against the neighboring lockers and looked at the boy who was recently just inches away. He was not unappealing, he had to admit. He was tall with bright, hazel eyes that had just a little too much green in them, and dusty brown hair that was short and messy.

“Holy fuck man, relax. I just wanted to ask you a question.” The boy laughed, glancing at Cas’ terrified blue eyes several times while fiddling the lock on Cas’ locker. He pushed the sleeves of his polo sweatshirt up his forearms and with little concentration, managed to pull open the lock. “Name’s Dean, by the way.”

“W-what do you want?” Cas managed to ask shakily, getting slightly defensive because of the fact that Dean was now rifling through his things. Dean flipped through sketchbooks and went through his backpack, slightly disgusted at the mess it was.

Dean ceased what he was doing and looked at Castiel slyly. “Just wondering why you’re always alone. You have a contagious disease or something?”

Cas swallowed. “N-no… I just-“

“Because it looks to me like you are quite the loner.”

“I-I’m not…”

Dean raised his eyebrows doubtingly and kicked the side of the locker with his toe. The mess of books and papers came toppling out and were spewed across the ground. Cas looked at him in disbelief, but it swiftly turned to frustration. 

“Later, Spectacles.” Dean snarked. He winked and went back to his group of friends from his basketball team, receiving high-fives and pats on the back. What a bloody jerk.

Cas took his glasses off and looked at them shamefully. The rims were square and black, and the lenses were shining due to the fact that they couldn't afford the extra fifty dollars to put on the anti-reflective coating. He’d always thought of himself as defective human being, with only one eye that could see properly, an unimaginable lack of organization, and depression to top it all off. He didn't even notice Dean looking back at him with what had to be a dash of concern.

He shoved the glasses back onto his face and shuffled on his knees, trying to pick up all the papers before they were stepped on. Several were ripped when he tried to pull them from under people’s feet, including the sketch of an angel from earlier that year. He liked that particular angel. It was the one his mother would tell him about, and it was the angel he was named after; the archangel Cassiel was the observer of the universe, and the angel of the moon. He was told that they added the “T’’ because it sounded better. He couldn't argue with that.

-

The rest of the month was not like anything Castiel had ever experienced. Every Tuesday morning he’d expect Dean at his locker from morning practice, invading Cas’ personal space and using hateful slurs and coarse language. Castiel wished he could make Dean forget about him, because he didn't know how much longer he could take this.

Dean’s means of terrorizing Cas started out as just playful jokes, but then escalated into humiliating rumors about him and other students, getting shoved purposely around the hallways, and something he recently discovered was called a “swirly”.

He never understood why Dean never left him alone. Why did he start this now? Did Cas do something to upset him? He couldn't tell, but he took what Dean dished out without speaking up, or even fighting back. Why would he? Dean could beat up to a pulp if he really wanted to. 

-

The 30th of March, something unexpected happened; Dean was not at his usual spot to meet Cas at his locker. Castiel found it rather relaxing, but there was an aching thought in the back of his mind: If Dean wasn't here, what was he up to? 

Was he sick? That's what he hoped to god.

The bell rang. He had math class. 

Castiel was not short and he was not thin, but in comparison to the older teens around him, he looked weak and small. Getting around the school with four textbooks was hard enough without the kids trampling over him like he was public enemy number one. I suppose he could thank Dean for that.

Finally, he made it inside the class. In the corner of the front of the room, the light was out, so he headed for the seat closest to it. He dropped the books loudly on his desk, and fished the half-completed math sheet from his mess of a binder. He sketched the angel again to replace the old drawing. He drew out the sleek black wings, added shining armor and helmet, occasionally noticing the other students piling into the desks around him. The seat right behind him was not taken by the time the class began. 

There was muttering outside the door before the teacher strode in. There was someone else behind her, and Cas’ heart sunk when he saw who it was. 

“Okay, guys! Dean has just transferred from a different class due to… well, issues.” She glared at him. Dean winked at her. “Say hi, everyone.”

There was a lazy “Hi, Dean” muttered by the class. Cas tried to hide his face, but he knew there wasn’t much hope of being unnoticed, since the only seat was directly behind him.

Cas wouldn't look up from his desk, but he heard Dean slump into the seat behind him and could feel Dean’s stare. His eyes widened when he heard “Hey, Spectacles” whispered mischievously into his ear. 

The rest of the class was the worst Cas Had ever experienced. Despite Dean trying to bounce papers off Castiel’s head and into the bin in front of them, his teacher had to tell him once again that he was supposed to actually complete the homework he was assigned. 

“Castiel, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! I can’t teach you if you don’t want to learn.”

“Miss Mills I know, I just-“

“Don’t keep saying you forgot. You can remember things I teach you without practicing. I know you remember, and you make conscious decision to not do it. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself.”

“But I’m getting an A in your class!” Cas whined.

“Life is more than about ability. It’s how hard you work that matters.”

Cas pushed his glasses properly onto his nose and let out a sigh as she left. It’s the same lecture every day.

He heard Dean chuckle as he felt something stick to his back.

He pulled the note off his back and read it. “Fucktard” was written crudely across it. He rolled his eyes, stuffed the note into his back pocket and asked to be excused. He didn't feel like being around people right now.

Cas didn't get far down the hallway before he was pursued by Dean. He became slightly panicky when Dean followed him all the way to the bathroom. Before Dean could enter behind him, he slammed the door shut and turned the lock to keep Dean out in the hallway. 

“What’s the matter, Spectacles?” Dean asked as he shook the door handle aggressively. “I just want to talk.”

He heard a ferocious and lightly muffled “The fuck do you want?” from inside the bathroom.

“AW, come on out, Angel!” Dean laughed.

“I told you to leave me alone!” Cas replied, his voice sounding lower than usual. “And don’t go through my stuff!”

Dean sighed. “Look man, I need you to help me. I’m failing Jody’s class and I won’t pass unless I get more than forty percent.”

Cas did not expect the sudden sincerity of his voice, but was disgusted by his request. “I wouldn't help you if my life depended on it! You think I owe you anything from what you've been doing? Fuck off!”

“Oh you’ll agree, little man.” Dean replied.

“Oh yeah? Too bad you’re stuck out there!” Castiel sassed. 

Dean didn’t waste time. Within moments he lock picked the door and made his way inside. Cas was not expecting the sudden intrusion and was caught off-guard by Dean grabbing his collar and pushing him up against the wall.

Cas gasped. He felt Dean’s hand against his ass, and was hoping it was a mistake. He tried to squirm out of the position he was in.

Dean was having none of it. He held on tighter. “Look here, you little bitch. Tomorrow is the test. You need to teach me with your little dork brain so that I can pass it, or…” He gestured over to the bathroom stall. “That will be your fate. Got it?” 

Cas frowned, but then nodded, and Dean threw him to the floor. “See you after school, Spectacles.”

-

By the time school was over, Castiel was ready to have a mental breakdown. He didn’t know what he was going to do or where he should go. Would Dean follow him home? If he ran away there would be an even bigger punishment than having to teach some dumb kid a few math processes. 

Sure enough, there Dean was on Cas’ route home. Castiel’s head was flipping thinking of what he was going to do. This kid-the one who had been terrorizing him all day-was now about to enter his home, not to mention his room. 

Dean jogged up to meet Cas, who was not giving him eye contact. They walked side by side for a while before Dean broke the silence.  
“Thanks… you know, by the way.” 

Cas didn't respond, he just kept walking faster until he reached his house. There were no cars in the driveway Dean noticed. 

As they reached the front door, Cas gestured to the doorknob. “Would you like me to use the key or would you rather break in like you usually do?” He asked sarcastically.

Dean rolled his eyes. Cas took this as an answer and unlocked the door. The house was small, but very cozy. The furniture looked old and overused; it seemed to be passed down through older generations. 

Cas didn't stop walking until he reached his bedroom. There was such a mess of laundry and paper that Dean couldn't even imagine living in it. They decided it was best to use  
the desk in the study. 

Cas pulled his binder out of his backpack and dropped it loudly on the desk. Dean shifted nervously (Nervously? Cas was quite surprised at this.)in his chair.

They went through a few questions and Dean was having quite a bit of trouble with them. The whole time they worked, Dean was sorting out Cas’ binder and organizing it into sections. There was a lot of tension in the room, so Dean decided to break through it.

“Look, Spectacles. I need you to know I’m sorry for what I did-“

“Don’t.” Castiel demanded. “And my name is Castiel, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah I know…” Dean shrugged.

Castiel looked at him in confusion and tilted his head. “Really? I've never told you.”

“We were in the same school in elementary.” Dean pointed out, fiddling with his pencil. “I wanted to know you, but you never really seemed interested.”

“So this is how you break the ice?” Cas asked grumpily.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just was too tired of you never noticing me. I really like you.” 

Cas was taken aback by this. “R-really? Are you saying you-“

Dean didn't realize what he had said until it was already out. “I-I didn't… I mean…” He sighed. “Yeah.”

There was silence. Cas didn't know what to say, or even what he felt. He could not deny that he was attracted to Dean as well, but this could be some kind of cruel joke to  
humiliate him.

Before long, Dean took the glasses off of Cas’ face. “I really like, you Cas.” 

And then he closed the space between their faces, taking Castiel’s lips with his own. Cas’ breath was literally taken away. He was still in shock for what was happening. When he didn't respond to the kiss, Dean pulled back.

“Oh my god. Oh my god I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to- I didn't think I’d… I’m so sorry.”

Cas finally wrapped his head around what had just happened. “No, no, Dean, it’s fine.” He waited for a moment, seeing the heartbreak in Dean’s eyes. Oh god, this was real, and he was screwing it up. He quickly added “I mean, it’s not like I don’t like you too.” 

Dean’s face lit up, about to say something before he was silenced by Cas capturing his lips. This made Dean take over again, lifting Cas up and pushing him against the wall. 

Castiel relaxed and let Dean take over, letting his tongue explore every inch of his mouth. Dean’s hands were all over Cas. It’s like he was waiting to do this for a very long time. 

Cas just held on to his shoulders. Dean finally pulled away slowly, biting Cas’ bottom lip on the way back. 

Dean stopped and looked at Cas. Without his glasses, Dean noticed the blue gems staring up at him. “I like seeing your eyes. You should wear your glasses less.”

Cas made an annoyed groan and pushed Dean out of his way at he headed back toward his desk. “I need them to see, Dimwad.”


	2. What Do We Have?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is trying to cope with everything that's going on.

The very next day, Castiel was a name that was well known around campus. Had Dean spilled the beans about last night’s events? It seemed unlikely, but he certainly didn’t dismiss the thought completely. 

He felt like such a doormat. This boy had just been making his life miserable not even two days ago, and yesterday he’d let Dean in completely. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but feel a bit exited as well.

It was soon made clear to him by overhearing the students in the hallway what Dean had told everyone about. It was not about the kiss, thank god, but about the fact that he could still play on the basketball team because he could now pass his test, and that it was no other than Castiel Novak.

He went from the school’s most ridiculed student to the school’s most congratulated, and he did not like it one bit, even though it was better than the state he was recently in.

Dean visited him frequently, not now to ridicule him, but to ask how he was doing or to organize his things. Cas had been getting much more homework completed since Dean had sorted out his binder, and he would often thank him for it, even if it would be messy again by the next week.

Dean would come by every Wednesday night for Cas to “tutor” him, but it was really the only excuse they could think of to spend time with each other without others getting suspicious. Dean had not made any more moves on Cas since the last time, and he knew Cas was one who appreciated his own space. It was killing him though, and every time he would see Cas he imagined pinning him against the wall again and kissing him senseless until Cas was begging for it. But he just had to wait. 

Dean would call Castiel “Angel” as a pet name, because of how his sketchbooks were full of them, and Cas explaining his name made it even more relevant. Cas was indifferent about it, but he enjoyed when Dean would walk by and secretly pat his butt whispering “Hey, Angel.”, and he could tell how much Dean wanted him. Still, Cas was still unsure of what it was they had, and was having trouble giving Dean his complete forgiveness for the past events.

On the other hand, Cas was doing exceptionally well with his work, and somehow felt more motivated. He didn’t know what was happening, but he loved it. Every day he’d be excited to get to school and see Dean, and it made him a happier person entirely. He didn’t feel so depressed anymore. It was a warm sensation inside that he couldn’t put his finger on, but it made him feel like he was flying.

Unfortunately, by the time May rolled around, things took a turn for the worse. 

~

Castiel didn’t see Dean that morning, but this time it was clear where he really was. He had sent Cas numerous text messages complaining about how sick he was and how he felt like “crap”. 

As Cas was putting his laptop and his backpack into his locker, he heard a voice call him, and this time didn’t doubt that it actually was directed at him. 

“Psst! Novak, c’mere!” 

Cas looked around. At the end of the rows of lockers, he noticed a short, almost pudgy looking boy leaning up lazily against the wall. He looked like he was about to trick Cas into a scam or something. Castiel did not get a positive vibe from him. The boy was staring intently at him, and as Cas was looking at him confusedly, he motioned impatiently for him to come closer.

Castiel approached him hesitantly. “Yeah? What do you want?”

“Look, I know about you and that Winchester kid.” His accent was Australian. “It seems you’ve got quite the reputation with his lot.”

Cas tilted his head in puzzlement. “What are you talking about?”

The kid rolled his eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here. I know how you feel about him, but you aren’t the first one Aphrodite has hypnotized. Trust me, I’ve been watching.”

Cas scowled. “Dean didn’t hypnotize me!” He said defensively, his fists clenching. What did Crowley see them doing? Was it when Dean held his hand on their way to Castiel’s, or maybe it was when Cas wore the jacket Dean left for him in his locker? There were so many variables.

“Look, Cassie. If he tosses you out for the next bright-eyed wonder, you can’t say your pal Crowley didn’t warn you.” He replied sassily. 

Castiel didn’t want to hear it. “Well, thank you for your help Crowley, but frankly I don’t give a damn.” he snapped, and stormed away.

-

Castiel thought a lot about what Crowley said. Has Dean done this act before? He didn’t want to believe it, but it would explain why Dean was so hateful to him in the beginning. He shouldn’t have forgiven him so easily. He’d been such a pushover, he thought. Perhaps he was lured in by those pretty green eyes.

Cas made a point of avoiding Dean until he knew what he really thought of this situation. He’d received multiple texts from Dean asking where he was or why he hadn’t been talking to him, but Cas ignored them all. He subconsciously knew that it would blow up in his face, but he didn’t know what to do about it. 

Everything he did reminded him of Dean. He couldn’t even sketch without making the picture look somewhat Dean-ish accidentally. To him it was bad news. Was he really falling in love? If what Crowley said was true, he knew how heartbroken he’d be, and it scared the hell out of him. Since when did he care so much about another human being?

After days of silence, Cas decided to send Dean a text. ‘I just need some time.’

Dean didn’t take this easily. He wondered why Cas hadn’t been paying attention to him at all. Their math classes had become boring and uneventful, with Cas pretending to be buried in his work and Dean just staring at him. 

Finally, two days later, Dean piped up in that same class. “Cas, what’s wrong?”

Cas closed his eyes and sighed, but didn’t look up from his work. “Crowley and I had a talk on Monday.”

Dean made a long, exasperated groan. “Aw, don’t listen to him, Angel. That kid loves chaos and everyone knows it.” he said distressingly. There was a hint of doubt in his voice and Cas noticed, feeling very un-amused.

Cas huffed. “He said you’d discard me eventually, and you’ve done it before.” He shot a piercing look back at him. “Have you, Dean?”

Dean smirked adoringly and whispered “Cas, I’d never leave you.”

Cas lightened his gaze, but didn’t fully believe and looked at his desk doubtfully. Dean noticed this, and leaned forward into his ear and whispered something that make Cas’ eyes widen. Immediately Cas perked up. “Wait, are you serious?”

Dean smiled. “As serious as I’ll ever be. I’ll come over after school. ‘kay, Angel?”

Cas tried to stay angry at him but ended up releasing a smile. “Fine.”

-

Dean could’ve killed Crowley if he couldn’t control his anger. How much had he told him? What happened between him and Jo Harvelle was a complete accident, and it was not Crowley’s place to tell someone about it, especially not someone he loved.

He was in freshman year when it happened. The one night stand with that cheerleader was the most horrible decision of his life, but he thought he had to prove to his friends that he was not gay, but instead proved to himself that we was. His friends would never understand; he could almost hear them laughing their asses off if they ever found out.

He wished he could’ve just erased that whole chapter from his life- the one where Jo thought she was in a relationship with him, and how he had to let her down easily as early as the next day before it got too far. It did not end well, with her trying to press rape charges in retaliation of rejection, even when she was the instigator and they both consented. 

How could he explain this to Cas? He’d been so heartless to Jo, and maybe his angel would think less of him for it. He couldn’t risk that, so he kept his mouth shut about it at Cas’ house that night.

They were in the study as usual, and far past “studying” now. Dean was now wearing Castiel's glasses, pointing out that only one lens was blurry. Cas had to explain to him that it was called a “lazy eye” and listed all the neurological defects that were associated with it. Dean pointed out that he could’ve been a Cyclops in a past life, and Cas laughed and told him five different reasons why it was ridiculous.

Cas still couldn’t help but smile at what Dean was suggesting, which made Dean really pleased. Dean loved the way Cas’ eyes would wrinkle slightly when he smiled, and decided to spend every day trying to see it again.

Castiel interrupted their “illogical discussion” to show Dean his newly cleaned bedroom. He wanted it to be clean because of Dean’s first reaction to it, and now the floor was completely bare, the bed was made and the counters were somewhat clear, but still bared pencils and papers, markers, paints and a plasma ball. The blue walls were completely covered in paintings and drawings, geeky posters and photos. 

“Whoa, Cas. It looks like you’ve been stuck in here for years.” Dean muttered, staring at one particular painting. “You did this?”

Cas shrugged shyly. “Yeah.”

Dean smiled. “Wow.” He muttered, taking a long look and then turning to face Castiel, looking him up and down and invading his personal space just enough so they weren’t touching. “You know what else this room is good for?”

Castiel swallowed his pride and looked wide eyed at Dean, leaning away slightly. “W-what?”

Dean didn’t answer. He held Cas’ hips and pushed him slowly to his bed. When Castiel’s shins hit the edge of the bed, he fell backward, his head bouncing lazily on the mattress. 

Castiel gasped now that Dean was on top of him, his hands moving up his shirt and along his surprisingly toned body. Dean pressed open mouthed kisses to the small part of his neck that was not covered. Cas made a strangled sigh.

“You like that, Angel?” Dean growled as he licked around his partner’s neck. Cas shuddered in pleasure at the feeling of it, forking his fingers through Dean’s hair, but then he stopped abruptly and wiggled away. He couldn’t do this. Not yet. 

“Cas, what’s the matter-“

“Dean, please. Not today.” Cas insisted, putting his hands on Dean’s chest and pushing him off. The deep caramel tone of his voice gave Dean chills, which didn’t help. But Dean complied, and just rolled off him and curled up against his shoulder with a big friendly sigh.

“Yeah, no problem, Angel.” he muttered, vaguely disappointed, but still happy to be there with Cas.

They laid there for what seemed like an hour when Cas finally broke the silence. “Hey, you know the stars we see at night aren’t there anymore.” 

Dean curled closer to Cas’ ear and made a kind of a disapproving grunt. “That’s ridiculous. We can still see ‘em.” he protested. 

“No, really.” Cas took a breath and relaxed further into the bed, turning his head to face Dean. “They’re so far away that their light reaches us thousands of years later. So really, all the lights we see at night are already burnt out.”

“Gee, that’s comforting.” Dean laughed, looking back at the ceiling. The sun had set, and the plastic stars pinned to Cas’ ceiling were beginning to glow due to the impending darkness. Dean sighed. “I knew you were a dork, I just didn’t know you were a space dork.” he added smugly.

Cas laughed. “Shut up.”

They said nothing for another while, just watching the fake stars on the fake sky until once again, Cas piped up. “What is it we even have, Dean?

Dean leaned up on one elbow, using the other hand to stroke his angel’s hair, staring adoringly at him. “Who the hell cares?” he answered, promptly kissing Castiel’s forehead and slumping back down next to him.

Watching the “stars” and having his head next to Castiel’s, Dean could’ve laid there all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I've been getting pretty lazy with the writing style so there may be a few sentences which lack fluency. I apologize for that.  
> Also: I'm still a beginning writer so if you find something that doesn't make sense or if you just wan't to help out, feel free to give me some suggestions or pointers.
> 
> Also I promised sexy time in the tags and I'm meaning to deliver, but I'm just working on it.


End file.
